Roast Me
The lovingly brutal read your house has been avoiding.
AI roasts. Better homes.
Your house.
No filter.
Better version.
Upload one photo. Get an honest roast, a redesigned visual, and a practical plan for making your place look like it has its life together.
Your first watermarked transformation is on us.
Illustrative redesign previewroasthaus.ai
Your photo
The roast
“The curb appeal is giving ‘we’ll get to it next spring.’”
Better version
Moodboard + project plan included
Pick your vibe
Roast it. Then raise the roof.
No design degree required
A better-looking house in three very honest moves.
We turn the “what should we do here?” spiral into a reveal you can actually use.
01
Upload the evidence
Drop in an interior or exterior photo. We’ll take it from there.
02
Choose your angle
Pick a roast, a budget, or the makeover energy you want to chase.
03
Get the good stuff
Receive the laugh, the redesigned visual, and a plan for what changes first.
Choose your chaos
One photo. Five ways to make it better.
Every mode starts with the same thing: a clear-eyed look at what’s not working. What comes next depends on how ambitious you’re feeling.
Modernize It
Trade dated details for a more current point of view.
Curb Appeal
Give the first impression something to talk about.
$5K Makeover
Put a realistic budget to work where it counts most.
Dream Makeover
Go big. We’ll map the version worth saving for.
Illustrative makeover reveal
Before
After
“From builder basic to definitely invited over.” Ready to share
Made to get passed around
The group-chat reveal is part of the plan.
A side-by-side makes it easy to show your partner, your contractor, or the friend with suspiciously strong opinions exactly where you want to go next.
- Side-by-side before and after
- Your roast, redesign, and action list in one place
- Clear label on every illustrative preview
Start free. Get serious when ready.
Try the roast. Keep the better version.
Free Roast
$0
A first look, just enough to start the conversation.
- One AI roast
- One watermarked redesign
- One makeover mode
- Shareable side-by-side
Full package
Makeover Pack
The design package for when “we should do something with this place” becomes a real plan.
$15/ design
High-resolution redesigned visual
No watermark
Detailed project checklist
Rough budget ranges
Share-ready before and after
Your selected makeover mode
One-time purchase. Budget ranges are early-planning guidance, not contractor quotes.
Good questions
Before your house takes it personally.
Your turn
Let’s see what your house could become.
One photo gets you a laugh, a reveal, and a clearer next move.